Is Terrible Self-Sabotage Making You Feel Miserable?

I know how you feel at times, my friend. You get excited, you go into action, you work hard, you know the goal is within your grasp, you work just a little harder. No pain, no gain! You are determined to struggle your way through this challenge. Maybe you want to make sure everything will be just perfect as you work on all those minute details…and then you feel you’re getting a little overworked…and overwhelmed…and that familiar feeling of self-doubt creeps in again. You know it all too well. It keeps hanging around, just to be recognized in the blink of your weary eyes.

Then the vicious circle starts again. The more you doubt yourself, the more you push through on sheer willpower. You push yourself just a little bit more, regardless of how your body feels at times, right?

And then, you feel the first signs of the approaching burn-out. Fear creeps in. What’s your favorite doubt to go to? “What if I am not loved?” “What if I am not good enough?” “What if I will upset somebody if I give myself a break to recharge?” “What if…?” “What if…?” “What if…?” All your gremlins meander in to whisper of defeat and surrender. You don’t want to. You still struggle to stay on task, but a subtle feeling of procrastination emerges as the answer. Bit by bit, you slip into the victim mode. It’s possible you will start feeling sad and maybe even really depressed. You will stay in this state for a while. You need to connect to yourself, to finally feel something (perhaps self-pity?). And you will get tired at some point to again be full of misery and self-pity and you will use your anger to struggle your way back out once again…and again…and again.

Time waits for nobody and, at some point, the calendar will remind you that it’s your 50th birthday, or maybe 60th. And your dreams will fade. Your children and grandchildren will ask you what you wanted when you were young and you’ll find a couple of excuses for why you didn’t get what you wanted. You will justify your choices in a heartbeat. But, deep down in your soul, you’ll feel regret. You’ll be a master of hiding your own feelings from yourself at that point.

Do you really think it’s worth living a life like that?

So often we live our lives based on a scarcity mentality, fueled by fear. We think we lack time, money, and knowledge. Meanwhile, things that make us happy are free of charge. They only need the wisdom of your heart and take just a few moments to be noticed and appreciated. The happiness we are looking for is literally inside of us. To illustrate my point, I found the top five regrets of elderly people:

• “I wish I would have had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” This was the most common regret of all.
• “I wish I hadn’t worked so much”.
• “I wish I would have had the courage to express my feelings.”
• “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”
• “I wish that I had allowed myself to be happier.”

How did it happen? Easy — you got yourself caught up in a vicious cycle. The worst part is that you cannot make up for lost time, and it will take some effort to bounce back from the place of learned helplessness.

On the bright side, all you need is a good transformation technique, some patience, courage, responsibility, and a good coach to guide you on the journey to transform yourself, your life, and your business.

I know this story too well because I was one of you. I worked hard, I had my burnouts, I was fed up with my negative self talk and my fears, I was about to just give up. I used my willpower and my anger-depression in that “crazy-8” pattern, without even knowing there is another way. I blamed others. I was waiting for a savior, only to discover that I am the savior of myself. I refused help as I thought it would be weak to be helped. I was unable to receive and I gave far too much to others, without healthy boundaries. My hope was to be significant in my own eyes. My ego was fragile and hungry. I knew this too well to find the way to the flow-state, to be, to enjoy, to create, to receive, and to give, to love, to build businesses, to help others, to grow, to contribute, to set myself free for my own sake and for the sake of those I care about the most.

Are you with me? Do you want to set yourself free? Would you want to create and build your life and your business with the state of flow, being finally at peace with yourself and the world?

You are so worth this! It’s within your grasp and this time it’s real! It’s here to transform your life and your business.

The vicious circle of a self-sabotaging entrepreneur:

1. Ignite
2. Action
3. Addiction to struggle
4. Perfectionism
5. Overwhelm
6. Self doubt
7. Fears
8. Procrastination
9. Burn out
10. Sadness/feeling down
11. Victim hood/excuses
12. Anger
13. Loop